I've been on a mini blogging hiatus since my grandma passed away on Sunday*. I had reservations about even sharing that info on Facebook and my blog, but those are the easiest ways to reach all of my friends at once (and spare me the agony of sharing that news with each... and every... person that asks how I've been or what I've been up to).This excerpt from some other grieving person's blog post helped me with the decision of whether or not to share this news via the internet:
The issue I hadn't prepared myself for was how to address "what was on my mind" with my Facebook friends after my father's death. I love Facebook, and pride myself on being "good" at it. I post often but not incessantly, I try to keep things funny and interesting, and seldom use it for rants and complaints (though I may be one of those annoying people who post too often about their kids.) Facebook is the perfect way for an introvert like me, who is intensely private about the most important things in my life, to stay in touch with the people I enjoy -- but it felt like a really inappropriate place to announce my father's death.So there it is, folks: my grandma died, and as a result I may be a little sparse around these parts this week.
Like everybody, I have a collection of random Facebook friends: my sister-in-law's brother-in-law; the nice young woman who used to work at my favorite boutique; the friendly pilates-instructor-turned-diet-book-author that I met at a writers' conference; in short, fun people I like but don't know very well. At the same time, refusing to tell my network something so truly important felt strange and almost dishonest. I struggled to find the words, but I didn't know how to describe what had happened with the heart and depth it deserved in only 420 characters.
I realize that my preference for online discretion makes me hopelessly old-fashioned in a world where others offer live Twitter updates about a miscarriage or the accidental drowning of a child. I noted with awe the way my younger brother, who avoids Facebook most of the time, updated his status the day after Dad's death and was then showered with messages of concern. As the news continued to spread online and off, a smattering of condolences appeared on my Facebook wall. I truly appreciated the expressions of support, but they also increased the pressure I felt to formally announce the news.
I coped by trying to stay off FB as much as possible.
[via Silicon Valley Moms Blog]
*Also lost one of my uncles last Thursday
Jesus, when it rains it pours.
