9/1/11

F*ck it, I'm on 1 (...hundred, thousand, trillion)

That accident left me feeling a little... dare I say it? wink

As of today, it's been exactly one year since that car accident I was in. It's a bittersweet occasion for me... out of all that trauma, worry, and confusion came exponential growth. If it weren't for that accident, I honestly believe I'd be a completely different person today.

Prior to the accident, I was so focused on my job and my life that--knowing my drive--I would never have voluntarily taken a break. Being in that accident forced me to reevaluate a lot of things in my life spiritually, emotionally, and most definitely physically.

I never thought I'd be saying this, but that accident turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Had it not been for the car I was in sailing through a red light that night, I would probably still never know just how much I could endure without breaking.

Recovery was difficult, sure. But instead of spending my days grieving for the life I once had (which was all too easy to do), I refocused my energies on creating the life I truly desire. I had a job position at the time of the accident, certain aspects of which I enjoyed. Overall though, that position wasn't relevant to my career interests; it was simply a job I did to make money. The months of recovery post-accident allowed me to figure out exactly what it is I'm best at and develop a plan to make a career out of those talents.

In addition to getting things moving again on the job front, I did a lot of intense self-evaluation and improvement. I watched a video series recently where women in positions of leadership in DC were asked to advise aspiring female leaders. I was most inspired by former U.S. Representative Jane Harman, who said, "If you can navigate a failure gracefully, you're stronger for it." She also lauded the principles of discipline, focus, and inner strength, all of which I gained in abundance from having been in that car accident.

I wouldn't say that being in the accident was a failure of any sort on my part. But I am certainly stronger for navigating its aftermath to the very best of my abilities. Having taken what I now see was a much-needed break from the hustle and bustle of my former life, I have a renewed drive and focus much more keen than that I had prior to the accident--and I thought I was operating at a pretty high level then. All of the pain and turmoil I endured--and eventually conquered--combined with the self-discipline I carried over from my school days contributed greatly to the continued development of my inner strength.

I'm going to stop very short of thanking my friend for flying through the intersection that fateful night. But I will say that, thanks to the accident, I found multiple strengths within myself (tenacity, increased drive and ambition, wisdom, and many, many others) that I was never fully aware I possessed.

It's an unusual route I took to get to this point of... enlightenment, I guess you could say. Knowing what I know now though, I don't think I'd have it any other way.