Some people find it strange that, as a woman, I’m somehow
able to thrive in a virtually all-male environment. Au contraire, mon amie,
I’ve been groomed for this life.
Between both sides of my family, I have 11 biological uncles
and many, many cousins. I grew up a tomboy, not in the traditional sense of
being into sports, but in the sense that a lot of my interests were typically
geared toward boys: He-Man, Transformers, and Thundercats cartoons; playing
with robots, puzzles (including Legos), kiddie computers, and trucks that my dad would buy me; I
was even, ever so briefly, drawn to bugs before watching a National Geographic
special on them and seeing a close-up of an ant’s face… ick.
I hated wearing dresses and sitting still to get my hair
done, especially since all that time and effort was wasted after playing
outside with my cousins. I also hated all the attention I got from being dolled
up like that; I would have much rather been dressed in my He-Man shirt, sweats,
and baby Chucks.
In middle school, I convinced my mom to send me to computer
camp for the summer. It was there, as an eighth-grader, that I built my first
website from scratch along with this other girl, Mary. From what I remember, it
had a lot of Tom Green references and toilet humor, lol. Of course, that site
will never see the light of day, but building it that summer really was a
catalyst of sorts.
In high school my interests expanded into cars and DJing.
Fast cars + good music = heaven. Making mixtapes for family, friends, and
myself was my idea of fun. I didn’t get an actual car until I was in college,
but I did obsess over owning a Jaguar someday, and I learned everything I could
about the cars: the different body shapes depending on model year, the engine
specifications… I even researched the top speeds each of the model years I was
interested in could reach.
By the time I graduated high school, most of my friends were
boys who shared my interests. I maintain a small, close-knit circle of girl
friends, but during this era, they were far outnumbered by my bro friends. I
didn’t think much of that until college.
In college, especially at a school like Brown, there is a
distinct boy’s club atmosphere that is so subtle—especially given the school’s
liberal attitude—that even as a woman you might not immediately detect it. I
had guys I thought were friends here, too. But I quickly learned who I could
trust vs. whom I could not. It was survival of the fittest, regardless of
gender, to me. To some others, it was survival of men only—especially once they
found out a woman could do it bigger and better than they could ever imagine
for themselves.
Even today I can see the sour looks on their faces when they
find out I’m more than just a pretty face, and that my interest in “boy stuff”
is genuine.
Apparently, that’s that sh*t they don’t like, lol.
Outside of Brown and in the world at large—especially in male-dominated
fields like Information Technology—this kind of extremely sexist attitude is
pervasive in both men and women and is very difficult to overcome. So instead
of fighting back in the traditional sense, I decided to show by example and
succeed at everything these ignorant MFers tried to tell a sista she couldn’t.
And I did.
If I had to tell one thing to any other person out there
reading this and embarking on a similar path, it’s this: Willful ignorance to
the obviously stupid & uninformed people who spew their—emphasis on
“their”—idea of reality or whatever they think is possible in this world, is
necessary to reach great heights.
As soon as these wannabe dream killers make themselves known to me,
they disappear. I literally cannot see them. Of course, I can’t hear them
either: They no longer exist.
