The other day one of those personal injury commercials came on TV and it was like they were speaking right to me.
Have you been injured in an accident?
Are you unable to work because of your injuries?
Bills piling up?
Ugh.
I was MIA last week sending out letters to various bill collectors explaining the difficult sitchiation I'm in because of that car accident in September. With my internal bleeding stabilized (but definitely still happening), I've gotten my doctor's permission to postpone the invasive procedure I was supposed to have to discover the source of the bleeding. Only prahlem is, the doctor that was scheduled to perform the procedure still wants to go through with it since internal bleeding is a pretty serious symptom and I'm sure he doesn't want to be held liable should anything truly problematic be discovered later on. And here lies the dilemma:
Injuries from car accident = no job for me. No job = no insurance. Pre-existing illness (asthma) + being almost 26 (aka off parent's insurance) = extreme difficulties getting outside insurance. No insurance = astronomical medical bills. Which would be manageable knowing that a settlement will soon be reached, but:
- No one knows how soon a settlement will be reached, seeing as how I'm not well yet and bills are still coming in
- Some of these doctors want payment up front. For the procedure to see where my internal bleeding is coming from, the total upfront cost will be $3,ooo
I have really been trying to get this holistic healing thing to work for me but last week was an "off" one for me. My faith in the universe and confidence in myself has waned. Typing out and printing letters for each and every bill I've received is draining, plus it's like reliving the experience of the accident over and over again. I'm still in pain and it feels like I'm getting broker by the day.
But there were a couple bright spots in the week. Communication with an old friend helped me solidify my stance on spirituality, namely that positive thinking is a great asset in attaining deeper spiritual knowledge and in navigating the world in general.
I also received a suggestion from a spiritual friend to connect with nature by talking about my problems... with a tree. Yeah, a real tree. In a park and shizz. Seeing as how I have nothing else to lose, I did it. I felt weird at first, but luckily it was the middle of the day and few people were around. I picked a tree in a very calming spot, right off a biking trail and across from a burbling brook. I placed my hand on the trunk of the tree and not knowing how to break the ice, I asked it to help guide me toward faith in the universe and what it has in store for me, in addition to increased confidence. Not surprisingly, the tree had little to say in return. That's when I started taking visual cues from it, looking for some kind of response... any response.
Well, for starters, the tree was tall. Bursts of brick red leaves sprang forth from its branches. Its trunk was thick and rigid, tough from being exposed to the elements all its life. It was stable, seeing as how its many roots were visibly protruding from the ground. Just from observing the tree, I was able to tell a lot about it. But how does this relate to me?
I thought of how all naturally occurring things are made in the image of the divine. In that sense, the tree and I already had much in common. Mother Nature is a harsh bish, and the fact that this tree was able to live for as long as it has under those conditions--growing tall, sprouting leaves, developing a solid core in order to withstand the elements, drawing support from its roots in order to remain stabilized--can certainly be seen as a source of inspiration and awe.
In fact, these observations of the tree go hand in hand with my practice of yoga and all that I'm learning about myself, spirituality, and holistic healing because of the accident. Yoga moves focus on the lengthening of limbs to achieve a full stretch, having a solid core (the trunk of one's body) from which each move emanates, and having stable footing, particularly when doing standing exercises. Physically, yoga can be difficult at first; I've found as the weeks go on, I'm able to do more and more poses I couldn't fathom doing my first week of class. If I equate the tree's innate knowing of reaching one's full height, solidifying one's core and drawing strength from one's roots to my own situation, I understand that with practice, I, too, can achieve these things.
So, no, my chat with the tree didn't tell me anything directly, but it certainly relayed a lot.
But there were a couple bright spots in the week. Communication with an old friend helped me solidify my stance on spirituality, namely that positive thinking is a great asset in attaining deeper spiritual knowledge and in navigating the world in general.
I also received a suggestion from a spiritual friend to connect with nature by talking about my problems... with a tree. Yeah, a real tree. In a park and shizz. Seeing as how I have nothing else to lose, I did it. I felt weird at first, but luckily it was the middle of the day and few people were around. I picked a tree in a very calming spot, right off a biking trail and across from a burbling brook. I placed my hand on the trunk of the tree and not knowing how to break the ice, I asked it to help guide me toward faith in the universe and what it has in store for me, in addition to increased confidence. Not surprisingly, the tree had little to say in return. That's when I started taking visual cues from it, looking for some kind of response... any response.
Well, for starters, the tree was tall. Bursts of brick red leaves sprang forth from its branches. Its trunk was thick and rigid, tough from being exposed to the elements all its life. It was stable, seeing as how its many roots were visibly protruding from the ground. Just from observing the tree, I was able to tell a lot about it. But how does this relate to me?
I thought of how all naturally occurring things are made in the image of the divine. In that sense, the tree and I already had much in common. Mother Nature is a harsh bish, and the fact that this tree was able to live for as long as it has under those conditions--growing tall, sprouting leaves, developing a solid core in order to withstand the elements, drawing support from its roots in order to remain stabilized--can certainly be seen as a source of inspiration and awe.
In fact, these observations of the tree go hand in hand with my practice of yoga and all that I'm learning about myself, spirituality, and holistic healing because of the accident. Yoga moves focus on the lengthening of limbs to achieve a full stretch, having a solid core (the trunk of one's body) from which each move emanates, and having stable footing, particularly when doing standing exercises. Physically, yoga can be difficult at first; I've found as the weeks go on, I'm able to do more and more poses I couldn't fathom doing my first week of class. If I equate the tree's innate knowing of reaching one's full height, solidifying one's core and drawing strength from one's roots to my own situation, I understand that with practice, I, too, can achieve these things.
So, no, my chat with the tree didn't tell me anything directly, but it certainly relayed a lot.
