I'd like to introduce a new segment to my blog called Catholic School Stories. I attended a Catholic high school after being only in public schools up to that point. As a non-Catholic*, it was an... intriguing experience to say the very least. I'll start this series with a lovely young lady named Tonya's** story.
I met Tonya my freshman year in high school. We had a lot of classes together, but very little else in common. We had distinct groups of friends, disparate grades in class, and, as I soon found out, very different ways of spending our extracurricular time...
During gym class one day, I took a break from sitting in the bleachers reading my book (I always told our male gym teacher I was on my period so as to avoid physical activity/sweating out my hair. Yes, I was that lazy. The uncomfortable look on his face whenever I told him my excuse was just enough to keep me on the bench most of that semester) to go to the bathroom. Lo and behold, who do I see coming out of the boys locker room but Tonya herself.
"Girls room crowded?" I asked. It usually was, with only two very tiny stalls to use.
"Uh... no, not really," Tonya said, looking rather embarrassed.
"Alrighty then..." I said, continuing to the bathroom.
But before I could even take a step, the door to the boys locker room swings wide open and almost hits me in my face. I was stopped in my tracks by none other than a member of the junior varsity football team. We all exchanged awkward looks.
"Yep... well... see you in class then," I said, rushing to the bathroom.
Public men's rooms are some of the most disgusting places on Earth. I would never get it on in there ::shudder:: This pic was taken at the relatively new Cowboys Stadium in Dallas. A 'Skins fan would never do this, FYI.
A few months later, Tonya stopped showing up to class. Every time her name was called for attendance, there was silence. One of our teachers made an inquiry to the front office about Tonya's absenteeism, and that's how we found out ol' girl was expelled for... you guessed it: giving Tonyas in the boys locker room. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who interrupted her little gym class rendez-vous. Our dean of students did too
Naturally, this led to a lot of questions among the freshman student body, namely: "Is giving Tonyas really considered gettin' it on? [Wiener in body = Yes.]" and "Can you get pregnant from Tonyas? [No. And take an anatomy class, PLEASE.]"
One girl even had the audacity to ask these questions of Miss District of Columbia, who came to speak to our entire school about motivational type stuff. She looked mad uncomfy up there, trying to explain to 500 Catholic school students how their bodies work. Finally, she just said: "Wrap it up kids."
Good enough, Miss DC, good enough.
The same semester Tonya got expelled and before Miss DC was booked to speak to us, a girl far more popular than me and who I didn't think knew I existed leaned over in religion class and asked me, Virginal High School Lisa, if what Tonya was up to is honestly equal to knockin' tha boots. What a ridiculous question, I thought. One, that this girl was asking me like I'm some kind of sexpert (I'm not, and certainly wasn't in high school). And two, that these kids are like, fourteen or fifteen years old, doing all types of sexual stuff on AND off school grounds, but have no idea how to protect themselves or even the consequences of what they're doing. At the same time, I couldn't blame this chick for having questions, it's not like she'd learn the answers in a Catholic school of all places, right?
Homegirl looked so genuinely curious and innocent asking that question, I kinda pitied her. So I broke it down for her. I even directed her to a site I found particularly enlightening around that time. She seemed satisfied with my response and that was that. At least until junior year when she turned up pregnant
Ah, well. You live and you (hopefully) learn.
* I consider myself a student of all religions... a fancy way of saying I don't practice one religion exclusively.
** Name changed to protect the guilty
