Apparently, she has other "booskis," as she calls them, in the complex that she "hooks up" in the same way. She admitted that one of them can see right into her bedroom window and is the jealous type, which we'll get back to later. We suspect she might be a prostitute looking for a pimp.
Anyways, Friend was in her room for whatever reason (uh-huh...) and notices all these little bugs on the bed. BED BUGS.
Already turned off by her girth and (probable) chosen profession, Friend asks, "What are THOSE?"
To which she responds, "Oh, just bed bugs. We all have them [referring to her two other roommates]."
Then, get this y'all, she picks up one of the bugs, sets it on the carpet, and LIGHTS IT ON FIRE.
Now, a couple days ago, I got the opportunity to meet this hot bish (as Friend was telling me this story over the phone, I refused to believe that such a strange, ridiculous person existed. Moreso, that someone I know was actually associating with them. Naturally, I had to see for myself.). I guess what's most surprising about her LIGHTING HER BED BUGS ON FIRE, aside from the sadisticness of it all, is that she was talking to us about her plans to become a veterinarian. Don't bugs count? (P.S. She personally admitted to setting her bed bugs on fire. And has the bites and empty lighter to prove it
)Anyways, shortly before I arrive, this chick decides she wants to make chicken for one of her booskis, the one who can see directly into her bedroom ::side-eye:: Since the oven in her apartment is so caked up with old food and burns whenever you turn it on, she decides to cook this man's chicken in Friend's apartment. OK.
On the short walk over to his apartment, her other booski just happens to be walking their way. And Friend's just standing there with this probable hooker carrying her man-of-the-moment's raw chicken in his arms.
AWKWARD.
There was no altercation and Friend thinks he can take the dude in a fight, but still. That's a helluva set-up, getting caught with another man's chicken/chickenhead in your arms.
As they walked away, she said he was probably gonna beat her later for being seen with Friend... even though that guy already has a girlfriend he lives with in the complex (?!). But she seemed so nonchalant about her supposed upcoming beating that Friend wasn't sure (YET AGAIN) whether to believe her or not. And she still wanted to make this nucca's chicken!
So they make it to Friend's kitchen and while the chicken's baking, she tells us her life story (Oh how I wish I had arrived in time to witness the standoff between Friend and Booski #[whatever]). Short version:
- Ex-foster kid
- Has had 8 miscarriages and 1 pregnancy, but that baby died about 3 months ago from SIDS
- From Baltimore (surprise, surprise lmao)
- Is supposedly 20... looks about 38
- Heroine-addict mother, no dad to speak of
- Sells cats on Craigslist
Why would you reveal all this to people you've just met? Well, I did say she was generous earlier. I guess in more ways than one, ha (Sidenote: she gave ME $5 for gas, just for showing up! Probably trying to recruit, pfft).
As Friend was telling me about this girl originally, I refused to believe such ridunkulousness. Now, having heard it directly from the source... I still don't know what to believe. Friend and this hooker chick are BOTH ridunk if any of this is true.
That being said, I find this situation highly entertaining and look forward to hearing about this hot bish again (if Friend doesn't come to his senses and cut off all contact with her first)
