"That must have been a great loss for you," The Benefactor said,
"losing your cousin."
"Actually, I don't feel one way or the other about losing Cuzzo," I told
her, because of something he said to me on his deathbed. The Benefactor said it
was a blessing I got to speak with him before he passed; many others don't have
that opportunity. She encouraged me to proceed.
When I was 11 years old, that whole side of my family was summoned to the
hospital by The Elders. Cuzzo was sick with what they told me was A Big Heart.
Having too big of a heart seemed like a small thing to take Cuzzo down. I
thought nothing could take him down.
Cuzzo had one of The Elders contact my grandma with a specific request to
see me. The day my mom and I stopped by, he spoke with both of us briefly, then
asked to speak to me alone.
I stood near the door wanting to escape, but Cuzzo gestured for me to come
closer. He was so thin and fragile-looking with tubes and wires poking out
everywhere, the complete opposite of how I remembered him.
"Don't be scared, now," he said. "You're never scared."
He gave a dry laugh that sounded more like a cough.
"Come closer so I can see that pretty face of yours."
As I sat bedside, Cuzzo told me he was going to die soon. I asked of what,
since it seemed to be a lot more than just A Big Heart.
"AIDS," Cuzzo said faintly. I didn't know what AIDS was but
assumed it was pretty serious to lay Cuzzo out like that.
"I don't have much time left, baby girl," he said, "but I
want you to know that even though I won't be here physically, I'll always be
with you. Remember what I taught you as a little girl. Don't miss me
when I'm gone."
“Huh?” I said, perplexed. I didn't know how not to miss him.
"In our family somebody's always dying or being born. There's always
somebody to take somebody else's place."
I wondered who would take his.
"What I'm about to tell you don't ever forget," Cuzzo said, his
voice barely above a whisper. "Keep beating the other side, just like me
and your grandma taught you."
He paused, inhaling deeply.
"Your cousins, teach them what you know. They might
not say much but they do look up to you."
"I'm only 11, though," I said. "I don't think people will
listen to me."
"F*ck other people, listen to your grandma, me, and yourself,"
Cuzzo said. "Remember, I've always been part of you, ever since that other
game. Listen to us.”
Cuzzo followed up by saying that if he had his way, he would have never had
me in that other game.
“It is what it is, though,” and I knew exactly what he meant: since Cuzzo
received those orders from someone who outranked him, his hands were tied in
the situation.
“Your grandma took over for me after that other game, and that's alright. Us
three, we're a lot alike. Listen to your grandma and me and soon you’ll take
over yourself."
"Take over what?" I asked.
"Take over The Game. You got their Money as a little girl. I
gave you Power. Now get their Respect. All of it."
"How?" I asked him, as usual.
"By any means necessary," Cuzzo said.
A few minutes passed and Cuzzo fell silent. I picked up his arm by the
wrist; it fell limply by his side. I buzzed the nurses, who came rushing into
the room. They ushered me out of the room and down the hallway where my mom was
waiting.
The next day I got a call from The Elder who put me in that other game,
asking what my cousin told me on his deathbed. With Granny listening in on a
separate line, I told her Cuzzo told me to come for the other side’s Money,
Power & Respect by any means necessary.
The Elder laughed.
“Your cousin’s gay,” she said. “It’s why you were able to spend so much time
with him growing up. It’s also how
he died of AIDS. Since he tells you so much, did he tell you that?”
The AIDS part, yes. But Cuzzo, gay? Considering the source, I was skeptical.
“He had new girlfriends every
week, though… how can he be gay?” I asked.
The Elder laughed again and said those women weren’t his girlfriends, they
were his employees. Granny took over the conversation at that point, rushing me
off the phone.
“This Elder added another piece to the puzzle, eh?” said The Benefactor.
“And Cuzzo’s a gay pimp, look at that.”
We chuckled.
“Bit by bit we’re finding out how that closet of stacks was built,” she
continued. “Gambling, extortion, prostitution… sounds like a true gangster
story to me,” she said.
“Now, when gangsters die, it’s usually quite the spectacle: an all-out affair. Tell me about
his funeral.”
10/15/12
Money, Power & Respect
7/26/11
I'm baaaaaaaack
It's been a long time... I shouldn't have left you... without a dope beat to step to:
Yeah, I know. It's been a hot minute since I've had the chance to update my blog ::crickets chirping:: The fact of the matter is, I got super busy working and being on my freelance grind within the past two months or so. Like anything that I'm passionate about, I threw myself into networking and securing tech and writing gigs full force... unfortunately, to the detriment of other things I enjoy doing, like blogging (and my nails). I'm sorry about that.
What I'm not sorry about is the major changes that are going on in my life right now. Not only did I start from scratch doing something I know knew little to nothing about (freelancing), I did it all while still dealing with the aftermath of the car accident I was involved in last September. And I did it successfully
There were a few bumps along the road, namely issues with payment and figuring out how to organize my time. When you're in business for yourself, you're always on the clock. And being my own boss was, as I've said previously, one of the most rewarding yet challenging things I've ever done. Needless to say, I haven't had much time to devote to the one thing that started it all (besides my drive and ambition, of course 
But I'm back now, with tales of my fantastical adventures (freelance and otherwise), updates on my hair & nail situations, hella dope music, and my wry, irreverent take on current events and assorted randomness. Stay tuned, folks!
2/27/11
Shameless plug: Follow my blog with Google Friend Connect!
I've gotten more than a few inquiries into how to follow my blog. Coincidentally, I'm also always on the lookout for new blogs and interesting people to follow, both here and on Twitter. Aside from the "Subscribe/RSS" link in the upper right-hand corner of this site, I've made it easier for you guys to follow my blog AND share your own blog or Twitter info with me by adding a Google Friend Connect widget to my sidebar 
1/6/11
Powertuff Girl
Those of you who remember the accident I was in back in September may be curious as to how I've been coping since this post. I'm still keeping up with my newfound spiritual beliefs: mostly positive thinking and mantras, adding to my gratitude/joy list, chakra color therapy, and yoga. I didn't give up talking to trees (or "connecting with nature," if you will)... in fact, shortly after my awkward introduction to "tree talking" is when things started to really pick up in terms of my progress.
My overdue medical bills are being handled by my lawyer, which is a HUGE stress relief. The cost of a lawyer alone is worth it just to not have to worry myself about--and impede my progress with--how to pay these astronomical and debt-inducing hospital bills.
Speaking of bills, with my parents' help I was able to become insured under my father's policy, meaning I can finally go forward with that no-longer-$3000 invasive procedure I need to figure out where I'm bleeding internally from. If you're wondering why I wasn't insured beforehand, I recently graduated from university and was covered as a student under my school's policy. Once I graduated, that expired and it was hella expensive to insure me under either of my parents' policies. So I'm freeballing it in the world, uninsured and whatnot, when I get in this accident. Even though it's only good for a few months, thanks to Obama's health care bill I'm able to be covered until my next birthday on my dad's policy. Ask, and the universe shall provide
In terms of getting my chakras back in alignment, I know I'm making great progress. My regular readers will remember from my Chakra Khan post that almost every one of my chakras was blocked in some way. I decided to tackle the first chakra, The Crown, well... first.
Knowing that the color purple is associated with The Crown chakra, which honors one's connection to the divine, I put on my favorite purple hoodie and got to it. Purple is already my favorite color, so I have a lot of it on-hand in my wardrobe and jewelry. Surrounding myself in the color allows me to draw the divine energy associated with it, from it (you'll remember from the CK post I did the same thing with the color yellow, to strengthen The Solar Plexus chakra). And I definitely feel that my connection to divine energy/the universe/God, whatever you wanna call it, has increased exponentially.
Funny story: as an example of how open my Crown chakra has become, I've noticed an increased turnaround in terms of things resolving themselves in my life. Not only the events I've listed above, but also smaller, everyday things. The other day I lost $20 while out grocery shopping. I was pissed! So, bags in the trunk, I head back home to unload the groceries and tell my mom the terrible news. Before I can even open my mouth, she hands me $20, "for gas." I even tweeted this mess (and, no, she doesn't have a Twitter, as one follower asked!), it was amazing to me.
My work in terms of re-opening my Crown chakra allows that energy to trickle downwards and unblock the six other chakras. The second chakra, The Brow, I also feel has become unblocked. With all I'm learning in terms of patience, resilience, and endurance throughout this ordeal, I do feel like a wiser and more aware person because of it.
My Throat chakra, which honors communication, is alive and active as well. Right after the accident I had difficulty expressing myself and my wants and needs. I barely spoke at all. All along I had a strong support system of family and close friends, whom I now turn to if I need to vent, chat, or just get out the house. Even though it seems simple enough to trust and confide in your loved ones, I'm still learning to rely a little less on myself these days and allow the people in my life to help me out during all of this. I've spent the majority of my life doing things for myself, my way... now that the tables have turned a little, it does take some adjustment.
Keeping a gratitude/joy list has helped me strengthen my Heart chakra. Before, it was as if a veil of negativity blocked my view. Having a tangible list of things I'm grateful for to look at, to remind me of the wealth of love present in my life, has certainly helped lift that pesky veil.
And then there's my Solar Plexus, the chakra from which most of my pain from the accident emanates. This area is associated with confidence and personal power, and in the months since my last progress post, I've taken great care to tend to this area. Pain still radiates from here, but since surrounding myself with the associated color to this chakra (yellow), examining what I need to do in my life to increase my confidence and remind myself of my personal power, and taking yoga classes specifically designed to strengthen and heal one's body from the inside out, there is marked improvement in how extreme this pain is.
I'm still working on my sixth and seventh chakras, The Sacral and The Root. The Sacral chakra governs creativity and emotional connection, while The Root chakra honors the Earth. I said earlier in this post that my communication skills (Throat chakra) have improved from what they used to be right after my accident. I'm still working on opening up more and allowing my loved ones to provide for me, instead of the other way around like I'm used to. In the little notebook I keep my gratitude/joy list in, I've also added reminders to myself to work on increasing my patience with myself and others. I strengthen my Root chakra by telling myself that the universe will provide for all my needs; I tell myself this until I start to believe it. I still communicate with nature, albeit somewhat awkwardly, as evidenced by my tree convos. But the fact that I'm actually doing this, silly as it seemed at first, proves that I'm truly committed to grounding myself in the reality of my situation and creating a safe space for myself. You might remembering me writing that the thought that anything was possible at any given moment was terrifying to me. Nowadays, that thought is pretty empowering.
Anyways, self-improvement is an ongoing process and like anything worth having, it takes time. I see it as my job right now to increase my understanding of my condition, heal from within, and allow myself adequate time to fully recuperate. Deepening my knowledge of self and others is one of the many positives I've taught myself to recognize during this ordeal. For anyone else out there going through something similarly difficult, take heed: time and patience heal all wounds. In the meantime, you can always work on equipping yourself with the necessary means to conquer and move past that situation.
All in all, I'd say I'm coping well and very much looking forward to what blessings the new year will bring
12/1/10
World AIDS Day 20X
Seeing as how DC has one of the highest AIDS rates in the nation with 3% of the population affected, this is an issue I am keen on spreading awareness of. It's really disturbing to me that despite all the information we have on HIV/AIDS and how to prevent its transmission, tens of thousands of new people are infected each year. I wish I could hold up a picture to you guys to show the devastation an HIV/AIDS diagnosis causes not only to the person diagnosed, but their friends and family, too. The thing is, a person with HIV/AIDS looks just like me or you--look in a mirror, and that's the face of HIV/AIDS, if you fail to take proper precautions.
And don't take comfort in the fact that medicine can ward off symptoms if you do contract the disease. Not only can those meds be extraordinarily expensive, they come with side effects of their own that can make you look and feel even worse.
I recently read an article in the New York Times ("As H.I.V. Babies Come of Age, Problems Linger") that shows the continuing effect of the disease on some of the youngest people affected by it. The sad part is, all the young people featured in that article had no choice in whether they contracted the disease or not; their fate was chosen for them. Given the wealth of information we have on the transmission and prevention of HIV/AIDS today, their story doesn't have to be yours.
The best prevention against HIV/AIDS is education. Knowing how to protect yourself and your partner(s) is key in reducing the spread of the disease. Also, educating yourself on the risk factors, signs and symptoms, and myths surrounding HIV/AIDS is quite helpful. Take a gander around these sites to learn more:
10/25/10
Chakra Khan
Recently, I've been getting into holistic therapeutic methods to help me deal with the aftermath of the car accident I was in. In addition to yoga as physical therapy, I've also been reading up on the meaning and significance of the seven chakras, which help to balance not only our physical energies, but also our mental and emotional ones.
The first chakra, The Crown, is located at the top of our heads. Its associated color is purple, and its purpose is to honor spiritual connection. Admittedly, since the accident, I do feel my connection to the divine has been blocked.
The second chakra, The Brow, is located in the center of our foreheads. Its associated color is indigo and its purpose is to honor psychic connection. One site describes The Brow chakra as our avenue to wisdom, or learning from our experiences and putting them in perspective. Even now, I'm unable to see why I had to be involved in this accident. However, I am learning to put the events of that night into perspective and use this time as a catalyst toward a better, more complete life for myself.
The third chakra is The Throat, located--you guessed it--at the throat. Its associated color is blue and its purpose is to honor communication. Being in that accident sort of took away my voice. Yes, I can still type and blog and express myself in that way, but my physical voice was just... gone. I was unable to communicate my needs and wants to loved ones or to fully describe my feelings concerning the accident and how it's continued to impact my life.
The fourth chakra, The Heart, is located in the center of the chest. Its associated color is green and its purpose is to honor love. Lately, it's as if a veil of negativity has covered my being. The constant physical pain doesn't help matters. Doesn't really make for a loving environment on the inside either--which, in turn, is projected to the outside world. I believe the universe gives back what one puts into it, and I certainly don't want such negativity impeding my progress.
In order to strengthen this chakra, I've been keeping a gratitude/joy list to make the things I'm grateful for a physical entity, something I can see and feel on the outside that I'm positive will reignite my love and gratitude for these things on the inside again.
The fifth chakra is The Solar Plexus, located in the very center of our being (just under the heart, between the rib cage). Its associated color is yellow and its purpose is to honor the life force. Specifically, it has to do with self-esteem, confidence, and personal power. Since the majority of my physical pain is situated in this area, this chakra is of particular importance to me. It makes sense to me that pain here would affect the rest of the chakras. Given its location, pain in the solar plexus radiates outward; since it's in the very center of my body, everything is affected by any kind of blockage here.
In order to draw benefits from this chakra and heal this portion of my body, I've taken to adding more yellow to my life. It's funny how much yellow was already there that I ceased to notice. My curtains, my sheets, my fave bathrobe, my fave scarf, even my yoga mat: all yellow. I'm also trying to eat more yellow foods: pineapple, lemonade, bananas, bell peppers, etc. I already exclusively wear gold jewelry; that's another way to draw energy from the color yellow, by placing the color (or variations of it) on pulse points, including fingers, ear lobes, wrists, etc. Focusing on healing this area of my body will also allow me to draw the benefits from it--like confidence and personal power--that I'll need to continue in my journey toward recovery.
The sixth chakra, The Sacral, is located around the lower abdomen, another area of pain for me (thank you, seatbelt). Its associated color is orange and its purpose is to honor creativity and emotional connection. I've also read that this area helps balance the feminine and masculine energies, also known as yin and yang.
I said before that my inability to communicate (Throat chakra) has led to some difficulties in my interpersonal relationships. Because I'm unable to verbalize what's going on, of course the emotional connections I forge with others is affected. In my case, they're non-existent; I sort of shut myself off emotionally in order to deal with the physical pain. I've never had to manage both at the same time before, so in order to cope, one had to go. The color orange is next on the list for me to incorporate into my life and state of being.
The seventh chakra, The Root, is located at the base of the spine. Its associated color is red and its purpose is to honor the Earth. This chakra is what "grounds" us and keeps us connected to and able to draw energy from earth. It's also said to govern survival, safety and security. Initially--especially after that hospital stay--I felt anything BUT safe, like I could be wiped out at any moment. I nearly was. However, I do feel I was kept alive to fulfill a greater purpose, and I take comfort in that. I also tell myself that, statistically, it's extremely rare for a person to suffer accidents like the one I was in very close together. So I'm good 'til at least the end of the year
I still feel as if I'm in survival mode though, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. As a survivor, one does all she can to maintain her life; prior to seeking out alternative therapies, that meant shutting down parts of myself in order to address more pressing issues (i.e. the emotional vs. the physical). Now it means seeking out the best methods to address my entire body instead of just parts of it. Yoga, positive mantras and affirmations, color therapy... before, I might have done these things individually. Now that I practice them in conjunction with one another, I draw their full benefit.
My positive mantra for today is a Da Vinci quote:
I know I was certainly unaware of these things (chakras, color therapy, etc.) before my accident; I can only look forward to what new things I'll discover because of it.
As my yoga instructor--or yogi as I like to refer to him--says, "Namaste" fools!
1/19/10
Cue that infamous N.W.A. song...
After we left the old people club, me & my friends Ash, Rob & CJ were ready to get our grub on so we headed to this 24-hr. breakfast spot called The Diner. It was Saturday night though, and the area where The Diner is located is full of bars and drunk people and whatnot, so the police presence in that area was heavier than usual. Just our luck, while trying to find a parking spot (we all rode in CJ's car) WE--the innocent, college-educated, mostly law-abiding black kids--get pulled over.
We were originally pulled over by one cop car and two cops, but I guess because there were four heads in the car, they called for back-up. Less than ten minutes later, there were two cop cars and four cops on us, asking us to roll down our windows.
They asked Rob to get out because he "looked suspicious" and they thought that from the way he was leaning on the middle console in the backseat that he looked drunk.
Uh, ok. One, the man was in a button-down shirt, slacks, and dress shoes with a close cropped haircut. Suspicious? Really? Two, who doesn't lean in the backseat. Three, there were (legal) tints on the window, you couldn't even tell anyone was back there, much less "leaning drunkenly."
They frisked Rob and told him to get back in the car. They asked for his and CJ's IDs then went back to their cars for a minute (I'm talking a hot minute too, like 25 minutes). Me & Ash were just holding down the passenger's side, chillin'.
When they returned, we asked the cops why they pulled us over. The original cop said CJ's view was obstructed by the air freshener and a pair of earmuffs he had hanging off his rear view mirror. The earmuffs I can understand, but the air freshener. Really. Mad nosy people in cars had already passed us with hella $hit hanging off their rear views! Fuzzy dice, Mardi Gras beads, rosaries... sheeit.
Accordingly to el popo, they pulled us over for THAT reason, then, SURPRISE, they found a "suspicious black male" in the backseat, too. Bonus! Since Rob was not drunk or hiding bottles or drugs in the back, they ticketed CJ with having a passenger who wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Oh yeah, and here's the kicker you guys: the cop wasn't even going to ticket us until my homegirl Ash asked for his badge number... NICELY (our entire conversation with this douchebag was civil. No need to cause any MORE problems, right). Then--can you believe it?!--he gets a little attitude and says "Well since you want my badge number, you can get it off the ticket I'm gonna write you."
!!!!!
One hour and $30 in tickets later, we were on our way again (NOT TO THE DINER, of course).
That whole ordeal was ridiculous. Before heading to our new destination, IHOP, we went to the nearest police precinct and got some info on filing a complaint against a cop.
There's no need to put up with anything like what we went through--and I know there's people out there with even worse experiences with the law.
Know your rights folks, and fight back when you can.
1/15/10
Do your part to help
See this post for more info on how to help Haitian relief efforts and avoid getting scammed yourself.
1/14/10
Donate to help Haiti
Years of political strife and a devastating 2008 hurricane season have left Haiti a volatile nation with battered roads, a weak public health system and a landscape of slums that witnesses said Wednesday had largely collapsed across the capital.- The Washington Post
- The American Red Cross is one of the most widely known organizations working in Haiti. They accept online donations, help volunteers arrange to give time or other support, and are accepting $10 donations, charged to your cellphone bill, by texting HAITI to 90999.
- UNICEF and Doctors Without Borders have set up sites for their Haiti efforts.
- Haitian-born musician Wyclef Jean hit up Twitter to gather support for his Yele Haiti Earthquake Fund, which also offers $5 text message donations.
- The Daily Beast, a news and opinion blog, has compiled this list of non-governmental organizations helping in Haiti, with some context on each organization and where your money goes.
- Caroline McCarthy's CNET explainer points to lists compiled by the San Francisco Chronicle, NPR News, and CBS News.
- Send money, not stuff. Charitable organizations can use your financial help to restock their supplies, but, as the GlobalPost explains, sending clothes, food, or other items is, at best, misguided.
- Charity Navigator, an independent evaluator of non-profits and aid organizations, has compiled a list of relief organizations working in Haiti that have attained three- or four-star ratings from their studies, and are generally considered trustworthy and efficient.
- TIME points out the popularity of text message donation campaigns, but also suggests being cautious of online scams:
As with any kind of giving, it's wise to verify that the cause you are donating to is a legitimate organization before pledging your funds. This is especially true when you learn of a nonprofit on Facebook, where phishing and other scams can give the impression that your friends are sending out links, when really a spammer has hijacked their identity.
Legitimate organizations also send a confirmation text moments after you donate to verify that you really want to give the specified amount, typically $5 or $10. If you say yes, then the amount will appear on your next cell phone bill. If you did not intend to donate, you can cancel your pledge.
- CBS News recommends checking out any group you're about to give to at The Foundation Center web site, where you can look up that group's most recent tax filing and non-profit status.
[via lifehacker.com]
(What you do is what you see.)
Men anpil chay pa lou.
(Many hands make the load lighter.)
~ Haitian proverbs
12/22/09
10K hits!!!
It took me a little less than a year running this lovely blog of mine, but it's finally happened:
That's right folks, over 10,000 of you guys have visited my site since I first started www.lisa-bee.com way back in January of this year. Thank you so much for continuing to visit and show interest in my random thoughts and interests. It's a pleasure writing for you!
**Much luv 2 ya**
12/11/09
So serious
This phone is seriously on its last legs. Yesterday the screen cracked. Not only that, but at least once a day the cover, keypad, and sometimes the screen itself fall out. MAJOR ANGRYFACE
So, if you enjoy reading this blog and can find it in your heart (and wallet) to contribute something besides hit counts and the occasional comment (which I greatly appreciate btw), it would be much appreciated.
Spanx!
11/16/09
SOTD: Jay-Z - Jockin' Jay-Z (and a P.S.A.)
The inspiration for today's SOTD comes from a ridiculous email I recently received. Some foolio hit me up via email talkin bout "Hey, I 'bootlegged' your site design & layout, my bad, but can you help me change a few things around so it doesn't look like I stole from you? P.S. I'm too broke to pay you for your time and efforts."
Uh... I think it's about to be Declare War On a B*tch Day again.
I thought it went without saying, but I work really hard not only on the content of this blog, but also the design (including the HTML coding) of it. To not be credited for the hours of work I put into this site sucks balls. So, if something on this site inspires you enough to put it on your own blog, CREDIT THE SOURCE. If the design and layout of my blog inspires you to want to add elements of it to your own page, great. But again, CREDIT THE SOURCE. And if you need help tweaking *my* design and layout to your specifications, not only do you need to credit the source, you need to pay up. I don't wave a magic wand and make this mess happen, it takes TIME, THOUGHT, and ENERGY.
So just a reminder, kids: swagger jackin' is NOT the business.
9/13/09
"It ain't my fault!" - Mystikal
To those I talk to on the phone regularly, a friendly reminder: MY PHONE IS F*CKED. Therefore, if I have to ask you to repeat yourself fifty-'leven times while we're talking, saying "Huh? Huh? Whaaat?" every 3 seconds, please don't kirk on a sista.
I'm not old lady deaf-status and I'm not asking you to "Come again?" to amuse myself, get on your nerves, or seem like an non-listening airheaded person. THANKS.
I also daydream a lot, so if I ask you "Huh?" or "What?" in person, that is most likely the reason. If I say "Huh?" and "What?" often to you in person, you are clearly very boring and should find more interesting things to discuss with me. Thanks!
9/5/09
Ruh roh...
My celly is now being held together with a purple rubberband.
"Operation: Get Lisa a New Phone (Specifically the New iPhone)" starts
6/2/09
Your attentions, please
One time not too long ago I was attending one of those race forums Brown sets up to discuss "minority issues" or whatever. Honestly, I only went to those things to hear the pure ignorance people were saying. (True fax: a chick on the panel of this particular forum said she doesn't date black men, as a black woman, because they remind her too much of her brother, father, and other male family members. LOL)
Well anyways, the crowd was packed and I was sitting next to this group of randoms. One of the randoms decides it would be a good idea to reach out & touch a sista (MAJOR NO-NO considering I don't even know your ass), and buries his fingers in my fro.
"OMG! It's so different. How do you get your hair like this? I LOVE it."
Ironically, I rarely get such enthusiastic comments like this from other black folks on my hair; this guy was white. I was simultaneously taken aback, angry, offended... and, yep, a little flattered too. Just because I was somewhat flattered by the compliment (?) and sort of understood where he was coming from, doesn't mean I wasn't prepared to break my foot off in someone's ass for touching my hair.
"Uh, what do you think you're doing?"
And at a forum on RACE, no less. Don't get me wrong, it's cool if you're curious about black culture, inasmuch as my hair exemplifies that to you--I wear my hair like this because it's cute, easy, and I like it btw, not to make some latent political statement. But for real, you betta send your questions to Google because I am NOT your or anybody else's authority on black culture. I feel like a lot--no, WAY too many--kids at Brown (and similar schools, I'm sure) would just pick a cool, nonthreatening black person and expect knowledge to be dropped on them about black life. That is totally ignorant on their parts and unfair to whoever their "token black person" is. I seriously hope (in vain, I know already) that people will not ask me stupid ass questions about or, to the complete strangers out there, freely caress my dreads when I get them.
I don't feel it's my place to school anybody on social propriety (the way I see it, if you're above the age of 3 and have all your mental capacities, it's up to YOU to not be a social retard, thanks), but this dude clearly needed to be put in his place. As calmly--and as quietly, as the forum was still in session--as I could I told this dude I was flattered but to not touch my hair, that makes me uncomfortable. I also told him it's JUST HAIR and believe it or not, it's not that much different from his own. He apologized and said he didn't know how offensive his actions could be taken, he was just excited about seeing a hairstyle he liked. Yeah... I didn't even know what to say after that--it was one of those moments--so I left, lol. I remember feeling really good that I stood up for myself though.
With that said, listen up fools. If anybody tries to pull that mess with the locs, I'm shanking you.
5/22/09
COMMENT
Hey you guys. I know y'all are out there reading, and I'm so grateful for that. I love writing here and it's dope to see that other people are feelin what I have to put out into the universe. But on the real, can y'all start commenting more? Don't be scurred, man. Even more than writing/maintaining this joint, I like engaging in actual DISCUSSIONS with ppl, esp. if it's something random I post that someone else out there is digging too. So start leavin (more) love in the comments please, and much love to those that already do
