Those of you who caught the Mayweather vs. Ortiz fight on Saturday HAVE to be in an uproar over that mess. I'm not the biggest boxing fan in the world (personally, I find it a little barbaric), but I really expected more sportsmanliness--from both sides!--for my my friend's $60.
The post-fight commentary was entertaining though:
You tell him, Larry Merchant!
Yeah, Ortiz headbutting Mayweather was definitely NOT a good look. And while hilarious and unexpected, you gotta admit that Mayweather 1. Looking directly at the ref before swinging and 2. Actually knocking ol' boy the hell out during what appeared to be a timeout* was really... uh... not how I expected this fight to go down. Not for my friend's $60! I sincerely hope they do a rematch on this one
Read more on the controversy surrounding the fight in this LA Times article.
In other news, watching the fights leading up to the game, I found myself a new favorite boxer! His name is Canelo (aka "Cinnamon"... awww) Alvarez and he has ~red hair~ ♥ You know how much I love natural red heads. He's so much fun to watch:
Get 'em Red! Read more about his fight vs. Alfonso Gomez here.
* Yeah yeah yeah, watch your back at all times, yadda yadda yadda. Still a dirty move Floyd!
9/19/11
Suckers, Punching: Mayweather vs. Ortiz
4/12/11
The importance of semantics
First, a definition.
se·man·tics [si-man-tiks]There's been a man going around a very wealthy part of DC called Georgetown assaulting women. While most people would come right out and call this guy what he is, a creeper and possible rapist, The Washington Examiner, NBC4, and others in local media attribute him the disturbingly cutesy moniker of "The Georgetown Snuggler" or "The Georgetown Cuddler."
--noun (used with a singular verb)
1. Linguisticsa. the study of meaning.b. the study of linguistic development by classifying and examining changes in meaning and form.2. Also called significs. The branch of semiotics dealing with the relations between signs and what they denote.
3. The meaning, or an interpretation of the meaning, of a word, sign, sentence, etc.: Let's not argue about semantics.
4. General semantics.
Georgetown student reports sex assault in dormA Georgetown University student reported she was sexually assaulted in her on-campus dorm Friday night, according to Metro police.
The student told police she walked to the dorm basement around 6 p.m., when a man she did not know began following her. The man called, "Hey girl," and pushed her against a wall, putting one hand over her mouth and the other up her shirt, according to the report.
A string of sexual assaults have been reported in the Georgetown area over the past couple years involving an offender dubbed the "Georgetown Snuggler." With such incidents, women have reported waking up with a strange man in their dorm beds. This latest incident has not yet been linked to the "Georgetown Snuggler," police said. (from The Washington Examiner)
--------
Has the Georgetown Cuddler returned?
WASHINGTON -- The Georgetown Cuddler may have struck again.
On Wednesday, an intruder broke into a home on the 3300 block of Prospect Street, police said.
It may be the man responsible for a number of break-ins in the neighborhood. Students call him the Cuddler because he will climb into a bed or couch where a resident is sleeping.
"You can say it's a little creepy," said Georgetown student Katrina Koser. "Obviously waking up with someone you don't know in your bed would be extremely scary."
In the most recent incident, the Cuddler allegedly laid down on top of a woman on her sofa, possibly after getting in through an unlocked door around 4 a.m.
Georgetown University is warning students to keep doors and windows locked.
"I live on campus, so I feel a little bit safer, but the idea of someone coming and just laying with you in the middle of the night is terrifying," said Georgetown student Maria Hayden.
"We're taking all of these break-ins very seriously and we have a lot of resources out investigating similarities to see if some of these incidents are connected," said D.C. Police commander Matthew Klein.
So far nobody has been injured by the Cuddler, but police say they're worried the crimes could escalate.
The Cuddler has struck almost a dozen times near campus. He typically enters through an unlocked door or window and either spies on or crawls in bed with unsuspecting women, according to police.
One victim, who didn't want her identity revealed, said the suspect threw a blanket over her while she was sleeping inside her campus apartment last semester. She woke up and started screaming, at which point the man ran off. (from NBC Washington)
This man's (or mens') actions are incredibly dangerous and repulsive. Because these crimes take place in a so-called nice neighborhood, does not mean the impact on the women assaulted or the homes burglarized is somehow lessened. I feel that the media giving this person a name like "The Snuggler" or "The Cuddler" serves to trivialize the victims and also these really disturbing criminal acts. These names are also a testament to one neighborhood's steadfast denial and cover-up of crime within its borders. Image is everything, and God forbid some of the city's most wealthy and influential live in a 'hood where rapes, murders, and burglaries occur. The horror!
In any other quadrant of the city or civilized area of the country, people would address this man or men by the violent crimes they've committed; something like "The Georgetown Burglar" or "The Georgetown Attacker" would be far more fitting than softening the person's image and crimes with visions of snuggling and cuddling like you would with a loved one.
Ick. This disgusts me. A perfect example of the importance of semantics, and of maintaining a firm grip on reality when receiving information from various news sources.
1/28/11
Facebook makes you sadder & lonelier
You know when you go on Facebook and all your friends are going to a million parties every second with people who are more awesome than you? Scientists say that's an illusion — but it can still make you sad.
Specifically, Stanford researchers found that undergraduates underestimated how often their friends got lonely or had fights, and overestimated how much they partied and had fun. The researchers also found that underestimating the crappiness of other people's lives was linked to feeling crappy oneself — although its unclear whether students were sad because they thought their friends had better lives than they did, or the other way around. Slate's Libby Copeland applies these results to social networking: "[lead study author Alex] Jordan's research doesn't look at Facebook explicitly, but if his conclusions are correct, it follows that the site would have a special power to make us sadder and lonelier. By showcasing the most witty, joyful, bullet-pointed versions of people's lives, and inviting constant comparisons in which we tend to see ourselves as the losers, Facebook appears to exploit an Achilles' heel of human nature."
Copeland's piece includes some of the kind of talk about Facebook that just makes me feel old — teenagers creating "a character" in their profiles and experiencing "presentation anxiety" about how said character comes across. This kind of Facebook use frankly feels like science fiction to me, and I sometimes wonder if teens exaggerate their investment in social media just to mess with impressionable adults (kind of the way I suspect this Amazon tribe of messing with anthropologists). However, it's certainly accurate that the nature of Facebook encourages the documentation of fun over the recording of malaise, boredom, or misery.
The real disconnect, though, is between the fun depicted in Facebook photos and (some) status updates and the crushing e-nnui we often experience when looking at a lot of said photos and updates. Our posts on Facebook may depict the high points of our lives, but we're most likely to troll through others' posts during our low points — when we're avoiding a looming deadline, killing a dull evening at home, or stalking an ex after a recent breakup. It's not just that Facebook presents other people at maximum awesomeness (though it often does) — it's that we're most likely to view their lives from a vantage point that's decidedly un-awesome, and it's no wonder that a virtual parade of others' fun makes us feel even worse. I'm not one of those Luddites who thinks Facebook rots your brain or whatever, but I do think that when you're feeling down you should turn off your computer and pick up a book. Because there's nothing like literature for reminding you that other people are secretly miserable.
[written by Anna North]
10/12/10
Taste the ~*rainbow*~
Being a word nerd, I love finding new & different ways to say things. Isn't describing your kicks or cute bag as aubergine or viridian waaaay better than saying it's just purple or green? Below is a list of alternative color names I looked up, in the traditional ROYGBIV format.
- vermilion
- ocher
- xanthous
- chartreuse, verdigris, viridian
- cerulean
- gentian
- aubergine
- hoar << Haha. Your mom has her own color ::zing::
*This post is dedicated to my gay friends! It gets better y'all.
8/18/10
Old a$$ geezers saying whatever the f*ck they want
You tell 'em, grannyI recently engaged in a conversation on Twitter about Dr. Laura and her unfortunate use of the n-word on her radio show. The friend I was talking to reasoned that Dr. Laura has her 1st Amendment rights to protect what she says, and that it's dumb of her to become a pariah for using a word, as derogatory as it is, that many public & non-public figures say or think outright. I called PUBLICITY STUNT on the whole situation and reasoned Dr. Laura just caused a commotion to draw attention to her impending (and much welcomed) retirement.
The convo eventually led to us pinpointing the age at which we'd both say "F*CK IT" and unleash our every thought, concern, annoyance and/or displeasure onto the world. We all know at LEAST one elderly person who stopped giving a f*ck what you or anyone else thinks around 1978, and isn't ashamed to say it either.
My age was originally 55-60... or whenever my boobs hit my waistband. Mi amigo's age was 35-40 ("Hell, why wait"), but to me, that's still fighting/shanking age. I personally would have no problem tearing a middle-aged muhfugga UP (j/k, peace & love y'all), but if sh*t's sagging off your body and ish... well damn, gravity already did half the a$$whupping for me, you dig?
Anyways, the whole convo got me to thinking about this one time I was on the Metro and it was rush hour, so it was super crowded. As the doors opened at one stop, I almost got trampled by the crowd of people both trying to get on the train and come out of it. Some 350-lb grandpa in a wheelchair trying to get off the train looks dead in my face and screams, "MOVE OUT THE WAY, FAT ASS!"
Literally everyone just stopped and stared. Not only was the comment weird--this guy had more than 200-lbs on me--it was so unexpected and rude, like who says that sh*t for real? You already know the answer folks: Old a$$ geezers. And possibly NYers.
And there wasn't sh*t I could say to the guy! Not only was he old, he was in a wheelchair. Didn't stop me from coming up with something though. As I recall, I told him to go f*ck himself (knee-jerk reaction y'all). He was already off the train at that point but he heard me and his face turned bright red like he was about to explode. Not my brightest moment, pissing off a rotund old muhfugga in a wheelchair, but hey, you win some you lose some.
Guess I shouldn't have shared that story since it shows that regardless of age (and handicap... terrible, I know), not everyone's going to tolerate your old person rants just because you're old. Yes, the wisdom that comes with age should accompany the respect of those younger than you, but only if you extend that same respect to them.
At one point during our Twitter convo I asked my friend, "Do people even realize what they say/do anymore?" He replied yes, but after a certain age, why censor yourself?
I guess. And I personally cannot wait until the day where I can say whatever I want to whoever I want and have little to no repercussions because, hey, I'm old, but really. Drumming up negative attention for myself as a "last hurrah" before my retirement? Being all hostile on public transportation on the off chance that some equally as bold mofo won't tell dat a$$ off? Or, to a greater extreme, alienating friends and family with constant negativity?
Choose your battles wisely old folks!
7/7/10
Check out my guest post on Makeup and Beauty Blog :-D
Check it out here.
Next to Temptalia, I check Makeup and Beauty Blog everyday for the latest news, reviews, and swatches of makeup and beauty products. In addition to the thorough and detailed reviews, Karen (who runs the site) has a great writing style; she keeps it light-hearted and fun--the way makeup should be--yet informative at the same time. Love.
Anyways, this frugal gal wants to know:
It doesn't have to be makeup related either... I know a lot of folks could benefit from tips on making that $$$ s t r e t c h longer.
P.S. Thanks Karen!
7/6/10
Going through something? Practice this Buddhist meditation from Be Free Where You Are
The popular "Coexist" designWhen a storm comes, it stays for some time, and then it goes. An emotion is like that too – it comes and stays for a while, and then it goes. An emotion is only an emotion. We are much, much more than an emotion. We don’t die because of one emotion.
So when you notice that an emotion is beginning to come up, it is very important that you put yourself in a stable sitting position, or you lie down, which is also a very stable position. Then focus your attention on your belly. Your head is like the top of a tree in a storm. I would not stay there. Bring your attention down to the trunk of the tree, where there is stability.
When you have focused on your belly, bring your attention down to the level just below the navel and begin to practice mindful breathing. Breathing in and breathing out deeply, be aware of the rise and fall of the abdomen. After practicing like this for ten, fifteen, or twenty minutes, you will see that you are strong – strong enough to withstand the storm. In this sitting or lying position, just stick to your breathing the way that someone on the ocean would stick to a life vest. After some time the emotion will pass.
This is a very effective practice, but please remember one thing: Don’t wait until you have a strong emotion to practice. If you do, you will not remember how to practice. You have to practice now, today, while you are feeling fine, when you are not dealing with any strong emotions. This is the time to begin learning the practice.
You can practice for ten minutes every day. Sit and practice breathing in and out, focusing your attention on your belly. If you do this for three weeks – twenty-one days – it will become a habit. Then when anger rises up or you are overwhelmed by despair, you will naturally remember the practice. Once you succeed, you will have faith in the practice and you will be able to tell your emotion, “Well, if you come again, I will do exactly the same thing.” You will not be afraid because you know what to do.
~ Be Free Where You Are*
I know what's been added to MY summer reading list...
*Publisher's comments:
Be Free Where You Are is a compendium of the core teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh, based on a talk given at a prison. It shows how mindful practice can cultivate freedom no matter where you are, and summarizes for the first time all of Thich Nhat Hanh's core teachings, making it an outstanding introduction to the ideas and practices of one of the foremost Buddhist teachers alive.
7/2/10
Croco--er, Chris Brown Tears
So the blogosphere's been abuzz with reactions to Chris Brown's breakdown during his performance of Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" at the BET Awards this past Sunday. I could give two sh*ts about any televised awards show (I think they are rigged and boring), much less one on BET, but I figured since I wrote an earlier post about enjoying Brown's music again I should weigh in.
Like I said, I didn't watch the BET Awards--in addition to the above reasons for not watching, True Blood was on--and actual footage of Chris Brown crying during the performance is being removed from various sites as violations of BET copyright 
Frankly, I think people are reading far too much into this. "Man in the Mirror" is an emotional song, especially to be performed by a talented guy with a troubled past (who does THAT sound like?) paying homage to one of his fallen idols in a public arena. People are saying he faked the tears to garner sympathy for himself, since he's had trouble bouncing back professionally after hitting Rihanna.
Ok...
After seeing his apology video on Larry King Live (the one with the infamous bowtie), I don't think he or his handlers are smart enough to do something like that. Also, Brown is a terrible actor. Even if his tears were staged, the sheer awkwardness of breaking down like that in front of a stadium of thousands and a television audience of millions more just sounds like bad marketing to me. After the network's terrible attempt at an MJ tribute at last year's awards and BET having Chris Brown, of all performers, sing "Man in the Mirror" this year, of course this mess is gonna seem fake and insincere. As you can see, such a ploy---if it is one--just serves to further divide the audience into either Chris Brown Supporters or Chris Brown Haters; I've yet to read anything that implies someone's opinion of Brown has changed for the better because of his emotional performance on BET.
To me, this whole ordeal sounds like an attempt from BET to 1. Redeem themselves for last year's MJ tribute, and 2. add some controversy to drum up ratings for the network. I can't say for sure whether or not Chris Brown's tears were genuine, but it doesn't seem far-fetched to me for someone with his public reputation to break down during a song like that.
4/14/10
Mo'nique's hairy legs...
... are causing quite the stir. There's even a NYT article on them. I don't know if I can get behind this trend. Yeah shaving is a pain, but I always figured it was better than having two koalas growing at my calves. And my anti-hirsuteness extends to men as well; trim that sh*t up!
Mo'nique has said before that not shaving your legs is a "black woman thing"... ::cricket chirps:: Guess I missed THAT memo. So dudes that read my blog, would you get jiggy with a chick with hairy legs? Does it even matter? SHOULD it matter? Inquiring minds (and legs/armpits/and for some broads, upper lips & chests) want to know.
I'll supplement this with some funny ish I've heard about shaving (or not):
- It'll grow back thicker if you do
- That only old school prostitutes used to shave to prove they weren't harboring lice (eww)
- It's a "black thang" to let it grow
- Not shaving is for the Euros. And hippies.
- Not shaving is unprofessional*
*Actually, for this one it depends. For chicks, if you're sitting at a desk all day, who cares what your legs look like. But if you're giving a presentation where your pits are on display, it's best to NOT have Buckwheat in a headlock. For dudes, I don't see the prahlem with a nice goatee. But showing up looking like a caveman is definitely unprofesh.
3/20/10
90 types of b*tches
I like making lists. Apparently, so does the ingenious third grader who compiled this list of 90 different kinds of biyotches, found on the floor of a charter school in DC (yesss). Kids these days.
 |  |
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Yes, page 4 is missing so we are left to ponder which b*tch types make up numbers 44-58. Any ideas?
2/18/10
UPDATE: Nadja Benaissa
Stupid news, I've been waiting for an update on this case for a minute. Click here if you missed this story the first time around.
German pop star, Nadja Benaissa, has been charged with 'causing bodily harm' after one of her former lovers tested positive for HIV.
Last year Nadja was arrested and jailed after it was discovered she had had unprotected sex with three men without disclosing her HIV positive status. At the time her lawyer argued she should "enjoy the presumption of innocence" because there was no proof she had passed the virus to any of her lovers, and Nadja was released after ten days in jail.
Fast forward: One of her lovers has since has tested HIV positive and now Nadja has been formally charged.
A spokesperson for the prosecutor says, "She was well aware that any unprotected sexual contact can lead to the virus being passed on."
If convicted, she faces up to 10 years in prison.
[via Rhymes with Snitch]
2/5/10
Style, manner, and grace (Jones)
I came across this lovely post over at The Sartorialist. Scott was discussing the manner and grace of a person, and what exactly that means:
One of the things I mentioned yesterday, was the "manner" of a person. "Manner" or "grace" is not something that you can learn from a book. Unfortunately, it is something you just have to be or to develop.Awww. You can read the comments here.
A great scene of modern grace on '30 Rock' the other day:
Liz and Jack went out to dinner at a very chic restaurant. As they sat down at the table, Jack immediately moved the candle from the center of the setting to the side of the table. Liz looked at him kinda funny, not understanding why he did that but, not really caring either. Later, however, when Liz reached across the table to steal some of Jack's food (as she always does), she realized he moved the candle so her sleeve wouldn't catch fire when she reached across the table. Jack's manner and grace were so attuned to her as a friend, that he knew her moves before she did. That tiny gesture ended up becoming the pivotal moment of the episode and changed the course of their business relationship.
I'm telling you guys again, women notice the small stuff. They notice the gentleness/gentlemenliness more than if you use the right fork at dinner. I'm a very lucky man, Garance notices every little kindness I offer her, she doesn't miss a thing. Knowing that makes it so much more rewarding to do even more little things for her. I'll be honest, my biggest obsession in life right now is not better shoes, more suits or a bigger career but, to simply be a more graceful man for my graceful woman. [Note: How sweet]
So women, in the spirit of grace, manner and Valentine's Day, take a moment and share with us men some of the little kindnesses that your man has done for you that made your heart flutter. Us men might learn something and you might gain an even more graceful man, a gentleman.
Editor's Note: For my gay readers, I can only write this as I know it, a man loving a woman. Don't let this keep you from joining the conversation. If you have tiny acts of kindness from a boyfriend to a boyfriend, or girlfriend to a girlfriend, please share with us!
Grace is Grace.
It doesn't matter who you're lovin', it's how you're lovin'!
1/19/10
Cue that infamous N.W.A. song...
After we left the old people club, me & my friends Ash, Rob & CJ were ready to get our grub on so we headed to this 24-hr. breakfast spot called The Diner. It was Saturday night though, and the area where The Diner is located is full of bars and drunk people and whatnot, so the police presence in that area was heavier than usual. Just our luck, while trying to find a parking spot (we all rode in CJ's car) WE--the innocent, college-educated, mostly law-abiding black kids--get pulled over.
We were originally pulled over by one cop car and two cops, but I guess because there were four heads in the car, they called for back-up. Less than ten minutes later, there were two cop cars and four cops on us, asking us to roll down our windows.
They asked Rob to get out because he "looked suspicious" and they thought that from the way he was leaning on the middle console in the backseat that he looked drunk.
Uh, ok. One, the man was in a button-down shirt, slacks, and dress shoes with a close cropped haircut. Suspicious? Really? Two, who doesn't lean in the backseat. Three, there were (legal) tints on the window, you couldn't even tell anyone was back there, much less "leaning drunkenly."
They frisked Rob and told him to get back in the car. They asked for his and CJ's IDs then went back to their cars for a minute (I'm talking a hot minute too, like 25 minutes). Me & Ash were just holding down the passenger's side, chillin'.
When they returned, we asked the cops why they pulled us over. The original cop said CJ's view was obstructed by the air freshener and a pair of earmuffs he had hanging off his rear view mirror. The earmuffs I can understand, but the air freshener. Really. Mad nosy people in cars had already passed us with hella $hit hanging off their rear views! Fuzzy dice, Mardi Gras beads, rosaries... sheeit.
Accordingly to el popo, they pulled us over for THAT reason, then, SURPRISE, they found a "suspicious black male" in the backseat, too. Bonus! Since Rob was not drunk or hiding bottles or drugs in the back, they ticketed CJ with having a passenger who wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Oh yeah, and here's the kicker you guys: the cop wasn't even going to ticket us until my homegirl Ash asked for his badge number... NICELY (our entire conversation with this douchebag was civil. No need to cause any MORE problems, right). Then--can you believe it?!--he gets a little attitude and says "Well since you want my badge number, you can get it off the ticket I'm gonna write you."
!!!!!
One hour and $30 in tickets later, we were on our way again (NOT TO THE DINER, of course).
That whole ordeal was ridiculous. Before heading to our new destination, IHOP, we went to the nearest police precinct and got some info on filing a complaint against a cop.
There's no need to put up with anything like what we went through--and I know there's people out there with even worse experiences with the law.
Know your rights folks, and fight back when you can.
1/18/10
Happy MLK Day
12/26/09
My gift pour vous
- Puseyface
- Wendell Kennedy aka "My Kennedy Story"
- The freakum shorts
- Nature friends!
- Adams Morgan: Parts I & II
- That time I gave up drinking aka "Life Goals Fail"
- Loc'd up
- Hickies suck
- Hoe, hoe, hoe *smh*
12/2/09
World AIDS Day
Yesterday (Dec. 1) was World AIDS Day. I would have done a post on this earlier, but I spent the majority of the day at the hospital waiting for my dad to get out of surgery (he's doing fine btw).
The prevention of AIDS, as well as its effect on the black community, are issues that are near and dear to my heart. I've addressed the epidemic previously on this blog, in the posts Well this is scary... and Nadja Benaissa.
Even though only one day a year is allotted to discussing AIDS and its global impact, I think its an issue that should be addressed year-round, and regularly. Especially if you're living in areas greatly affected by the disease, such as DC.
We rarely hear of severe HIV/AIDS infections outside of those affecting third world countries, and the cases we do hear about (i.e. Magic Johnson) seem to be easily remedied with a cocktail of medications. This leads to a misconception that HIV/AIDS probably isn't as serious a disease as it was when it was first discovered in 1981.
FALSE.
As far as we've come in terms of understanding the disease, I'd still be absolutely devastated if I received a positive result on my yearly HIV/AIDS test. Although we know a lot more about the disease and how to control its symptoms now, one still has to deal with the social stigma of being diagnosed as HIV-positive. Also, there are medications to control the symptoms of HIV/AIDS, but please believe they cost a pretty penny. And not everyone is "Magic Johnson-status" with their paychecks, you dig?
Anyways. Just reminding you guys this VERY SERIOUS EPIDEMIC is entirely preventable, provided you take the proper precautions for YOUR health and the health of your loved ones.
11/30/09
Ever noticed... 4 distinct "female sitcom character" personalties
A friend and I were talking about our respective obsessions with the TV shows Sex and the City (me) and Desperate Housewives (her).
"Have you ever noticed," I asked her, "how, in every sitcom with women cast as the main characters, there are ALWAYS four distinct personalities?"
"OMG," my friend exclaimed. "Every 'girly' show we've watched since Golden Girls is basically descended from that concept."
It's true folks! There’s the “everywoman,” the one everyone can relate to and thinks of as herself; the sexy one who gets all the guys; the naïve or kinda dumb one; and then the bitchy practical one.
Starting with the original, Golden Girls:
Sex and the City:
Imma be honest with y'all, I don't watch Desperate Housewives. But I can still apply this little finding based on what little I do know of the show:
Living Single:
Nothing's new under the sun, especially on television where it seems every idea is recycled and reused. Though each of these shows follows the same character formula, I still recognize each show and each character on that show as unique and entertaining in their own right.
For example, Blanche from Golden Girls and Samantha from SATC are both the "sluts" of the show. But Blanche's sluttiness is endearing when paired with her age and charming Southern accent, while Samantha's sluttiness is more edgy, shocking, and... dare I say, empowering? Especially when taking into account her age (Samantha's the oldest of the SATC girls).
While the "everywoman/sexy/naïve/practical and sometimes downright bitchy" female sitcom character is a tried (and true?) formula, it's a formula that works, I guess...
10/21/09
Mystery Book (long post... may be worthwhile if you enjoy reading and whatnot)
Last week I was the recipient of a very strange novel. It's titled "Revisions Of..." and the author is someone writing under the pseudonym "Goodloe Byron."
I read the back cover and the book seemed fairly interesting I suppose:
Nathan First is a childlike biographer, making barely enough from his writing to survive. His only source of contact with the outside world is his sister, whose recent marriage has left Nathan to his own devices. Moved by a paltry obituary that he reads in the paper, Nathan sets out to compose his masterpiece; a biography of an ordinary man. But this will be no ordinary book; as Nathan becomes increasingly ambitious, the project blossoms into a study of the dark matter of humanity and appears to contain the abandoned history of the world.Actually, the book sounded like a leftover from the reading list of someone's socialism class. The guy who passed this book on to me was a local student I met while prepping for a night out. It was my first and only time meeting this dude, so he knew nothing about my reading habits and what I prefer to read, only that I enjoy reading and have an English degree. But he enthusiastically recommended this book.
"If you love to read, you'll love this book," he said. "Plus it's free!"
Indeed it was:
Reading the bottom half of the back cover, I was even more convinced this is someone's little socialist project. Not only is the book clearly priced at $0.00, it is also part of something called The Zero Dollar Tour, which "[d]istributes book to the public free of charge. The previous rounds have distributed twenty thousand copies of 'The Abstract: Tales of Wickedness and Sorrow.'"
Uh... ok. Never heard of the tour or that other novel, but I'm always down to read things with which I'm unfamiliar.
The first twelve pages of the book are dedicated to explaining what exactly The Zero Dollar Tour is. All the descriptions, divided neatly into 11 personal narratives, are in the third person and all provide background information about the author, Goodloe Byron, and his travelling book tour. Byron goes around the country to book fairs, coffee shops, parks--anywhere really--and tries to give away copies of his manuscript, sometimes to no avail. His request to leave a pile of his free books at one location was met with suspicion: "[W]hat's the catch? Is this pornography? Is it Satanic?"
Pretty much the same things I was thinking about the book as I read it.
Many of the narratives praise Byron's efforts to get his book to the masses for free.
"...[L]ike a traveling road show of yore," is how author Steven Cleaver describes Byron and his band of vagabond book distributors. "If nothing else, in the story of his own life, Goodloe Byron is creating a character to remember," Cleaver wrote.
Cleaver is attributed in his signoff as the author of two books, "Saving Eramus" and "Dear God, Whatever Your Name is Now." I Googled Cleaver and his novels to verify he was a real person. I found "Saving Eramus" on Amazon.com, described as a "bizarre, whimsical novel [that] will charm and delight some readers and perplex others." Again, I felt as if the same could be said for "Revisions Of..." It was certainly perplexing me.
I tossed the book in the back seat of my car and pretty much forgot about it until earlier this week. There was a website listed for the publisher of the book on the back cover, so I decided to check it out. Maybe the company behind this book could offer some insight into the author and his motives.
The website for Brown Paper Publishing, www.brownpaperpublishing.com, is amateurish at best, especially for a publishing house. In fact, the very first words on the main site are "Alright, so i have no idea how to edit the website." Most of the information to be found there is out-of-date anyways. Even some of the links are dead. Great.
If you Google "revisions of goodloe byron," not much comes up, except for a few paltry reviews and a Facebook group that has 12 members. By this point, I had pretty much given up on caring who Goodloe Byron really was and what exactly his book was about. I could barely make it past the first chapter it was so... difficult to follow and make sense of. I didn't even know in which context to read the book: is it a satire? A biography? An autobiography? It seemed to be all three and possibly more.
Anyways, that brings me to this post. I am angry and frustrated that Random Guy gave me this crap book to read. I want to ask him so many questions: Why did you recommend this crap book to me, stranger? Were you kidding? Do YOU understand this mess? So. Many. Questions.
I want the minutes and seconds of my life that it took to read as much of "Revisions Of.." that I did back! Just looking at the book, sitting there, being all elusive and nonsensical and ish, is pissing me off! At least it was free.
I have plans to leave the book in a bookstore, Dunkin Donuts, park or side-of-the-freeway near you, so maybe you (or some other hapless, bored soul) can make sense of it.
10/18/09
The realest post I ever wrote
This article really resonated with me. The twins in the article are the same age as me, are recent college grads like me, and are struggling with being, as the reporter says, "underemployed"... like me.
Most of the time I try to remain optimistic about my job situation and the current economic climate. "Tough times don't last, but tough people do," says a sign outside a local gas station, and I believe that. However, it's hard to reconcile aphorisms like that with my (and a lot of other people's) reality: despite having the experience, the degree, the bangin' resume, I'M NOT DOING WHAT I WANT! It was part of my post-graduation dream to move to NYC and work at some impressive magazine or publishing house, have a vibrant social and travel life and a cute apartment in the city. And a cat, of course. Right now, I can't even afford to THINK about those things, much less actually do them. It sucks because, even before I graduated, I didn't have to wait long at all between job positions to hear about and get a new one. Months--let me repeat: MONTHS--of unemployment, after getting my degree? With the internships I've held, the contacts I've made? I would have never fathomed it. Well, not completely: I knew we were f*cked back when Bush was elected the second time. But not THIS f*cked!
On the bright side, at least I have my youth and no additional burdens, like supporting a family or paying rent or a mortgage. Additionally, I have the time to catch up on some long overdue pleasure reading
Anyways, back to the article. What I most enjoyed about the piece is that it gives another face--two, in fact--to the young and unemployed... besides the one I see in the mirror everyday. At least I'm not alone, right?
10/6/09
Track list for DJ Hero unveiled
Activision has revealed the complete list of remixes players can expect to see in the publisher's upcoming music game DJ Hero.
The game, out October 27, will come packaged with a turntable controller that works similarly to instruments used in Guitar Hero. Here are the 93 tracks available on disc.
[via USA Today]
