!i$@ bee™: STFU

Showing posts with label STFU. Show all posts

11/30/10

STFU: Paulina Rubio

Paulina Rubio & Alicia Machado

Mexican singer and actress Paulina Rubio defends former Miss Universe Alicia Machado--who recently tweeted a prayer for the two Chinas, instead of North Korea and South Korea--with these words of wisdom:

"Leave Alicia alone. All Japanese people look the same and China is a very big country."

Alicia Machado, after deleting her Twitter account (of course), had this to say:

"I didn't make a mistake and I'm not stupid. I know both countries; I've been there. It was just a funny way to refer to the entire Asian continent. Like when we say 'Look at that gringo' and turns out that he's Canadian. We call Chinese to everyone who looks Asian. That's what I meant."

10/20/10

STFU: 50 Cent & Soulja Boy

This XXL cover is suspect as hell. "A Hater's Worst Nightmare"? Really tho? These clowns. Why did 50
1. remove all his tats and 2. dress as a terrorist ninja for this mess? And who is REALLY jelly of Soulja Boy banging Kat Stacks (gross out) and being on coke...???

So many questions.

Bet, that loving wink is directed at Mr. Cent.

You cannot convince me otherwise.

10/6/10

STFU: Antoine Dodson

Mr. Dodson @ the BET (or EBT, as I like to call it) Awards,

airing Oct. 12

How you gonna be famous for being ghetto on the evening news talking about your sister's almost-rape?

Le sigh. The world is a crazy place.

Antoine Dodson, your 15 is up, bruh. STFU & STFD.

[img source]

7/13/10

STFU: Brandy Norwood

I'm sure most of you have heard by now of the dissolution of The-Dream & Christina Milian's marriage. They got engaged last July, married in September, renewed their vows in December, had a baby together about 5 months ago, and apparently have been separated since last year (wtf?). Recently he's been spotted canoodling in the Caribbean with his assistant...

Matching stomachs is never a good look.

Anyways, Reason #1 I'd never, ever want to be a celebrity: some interviewer asked a random bunch of B- and C-listers what they thought of the situation. I'm not sure why any of these people opened their mouths to speak on the business of someone they don't seem to know very well (or at all), but they did. And thanks to that interview we have this gem from Brandy:

Take it from somebody that’s been through so much sh*t in life. You can overcome anything with the power of God because God lives within you. So keep your head up girl. Come out and kill em’!

WOW. Should she really be advising someone to "come out and kill 'em"? I swear, these celeb*tches need a filter or something.

7/6/10

STFU: Kristen Stewart

Yesterday some friends and I were discussing how Kristen Stewart, she of Twilight fame, comes out her mouth with the stupidest sh*t. First, it was her highly insensitive and poorly worded comment that being followed and photographed by the paparazzi is like being raped. Now, she doesn't trust her fans to not "assassinate" her.

Bitch, only worthwhile people get assassinated.
Your ass just gets murdered.

STFU & STFD

Yet ANOTHER reason to hate the entire Twilight franchise, smh.

4/15/10

Light skin/wavy hair do not a hottie make

I've never believed in the absolute truth of statistics. There are so many variables at play that could influence the results of a study, I just don't feel numbers alone give a full enough picture. So when I read of a recent study that concluded mixed race folks are more physically attractive than other folks, I didn't give it much thought. But thinking about it a little longer, I got pretty pissed. The conclusion of that study is something I've heard too many times before, and it always makes the person saying it look self-hating and racist. Now there's a "scientific study" for these idiots to stand by?!

There are beautiful and ugly people of all races and creeds, yes. We all know this. But I am so over people thinking mixed race folks are exempt from the ugly part of the equation. So here's a gathering of famously fugly lightskinneded muhfuggas I can think of off the top of my head (think of it as MY scientific study):

Tracee Ellis Ross

Rain Pryor

Leona Lewis

Malcolm Gladwell

Jon Gosselin

Drake

Justin Guarini from American Idol

Tiger Woods

--- Sent from my iPhone ---

3/2/10

STFU: Kittie Troy from "Let's Talk About Pep"

This ho... this ho right here? OF COURSE she's from DC, smh (yet why does she talk with an affected NY accent?). I knew her special brand of annoying had to have some sort of background, and it looks like she's been perfecting her craft for years. Those of you who listen to the radio around here might remember her screeching on Big Tigger's old radio show, "Live in the Den." Doesn't ring a bell? Then maybe you'll remember her voicing the original 3D hoodrat, Cita, on BET (how fitting). Now she's The Slutty One on VH1's "Let's Talk About Pep." LOL.

Progress, people, progress.

12/2/09

STFU: Tiger Woods (runner-up: 'Tiger does his best impression of Carlton Banks on a booty call')

I don't condone cheating in relationships. But really, there's a RIGHT WAY and a WRONG WAY to do that mess. One, don't leave your name on the VM message! Don't even leave a VM, but if you must, don't leave YOUR NAME! Ugh. Two, you're Tiger-effing-Woods. You can win golfing tournaments galore but you can't keep your side hos in check?! WTF.

You gotta be hella discreet when pulling a Tiger. You'd think Mr. Woods would have figured this out by now (especially since he named his yacht PRIVACY).

The only VMs worth leaving are these:

I'M BOUT TO TOUCH DOWN
YOU KNOW WHAT'S UP
I'M ON MY WAY
YOU ON YOUR WAY?
IT'S ME
YOU COMING?
WE GOIN OUT?
YOU HUNGRY?
YOU REMEMBER WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT?
HEY [thanks Dr. What?]

He really needs to watch "How to Be a Player." On second thought, that movie might not appeal to him since he's not black anyways

*SMH* at all of this.

11/18/09

STFU: Mary J. Blige

WOW.

Just... WOW.

First Fantasia admits her illiteracy, then R. Kelly damn near brags about how he got through school not being able to read, now this?! Jesus be a Hooked on Phonics book.

11/3/09

Ongoing list of words/phrases that need to die

swag - If you use this word to describe yourself or your crew... guaranteed, none of y'all have it.
hater(s) - Who are these "haters" exactly? What do you do that's so special that you think everyone's "hating" on you? STFU and get a life, narcissist.
no homo - Seriously, you look more homo saying this than not. Suggestion: start saying "That's what he/she said." Much funnier.
gay - I've already said my piece on this one.
n*gga - This word is steeped in so much controversy. Whether black people should say it to other blacks, why white people should never, EVER use this word in jest (or period, for that matter), etc. etc. blah blah blah. Let's just call a moratorium on the n-word.
jeggings - This is a neologism for "jeans" and "leggings." Jean leggings! Get it? Really, what is so hard about saying "jean leggings" instead of combining the words as some lame marketing ploy ("Hey, how about instead of calling things what they are, we make up a new word for them! Yeah!"). This sentiment also applies to combined celebrity couple names, à la Brangelina.
Calling women "females" in regular convo - Saying this makes it sound like you're talking about an animal instead of a person. Besides, I know my gender, thanks.
no bueno - Pet peeve: I hate when people say this. I'm all for multilingualism, but just say NO dammit.
basic b*tch - This term gained momentum when comedian Lil Duval used it to describe some irrevelent ho from reality TV. Now it's been run into the ground--esp. on Twitter--and I'm tired of hearing that sh*t. Whatever happened to just calling someone a dumb slut?

Which words would you add to this list? I'll update with submissions (send via comment box or email).

10/18/09

STFU: Balloon boy hoax

Balloon boy' incident was hoax, sheriff says [via cnn.com]

DUH. I could smell this from a mile away. What kind of muhfugga has a hot air balloon just lying around?

9/28/09

STFU: Warren G

"I ain’t against gay people. I’m just against it being promoted to kids...I know people that’s gay. My wife’s got friends that are gay. I got family that’s gay. Cousins and sh*t. He cool as f*ck. He cool as a motherf*cker. He’s my homie. I just mean that on some of these TV shows, they got dudes kissing. And kids are watching that sh*t. We can’t have kids growing up with that... I know it happens, but let’s keep it behind the scenes. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with it if that’s what two dudes wanna do. Cool. But that’s not bring that out into the world, where the kids can see that. We don’t want all the kids doing that. ‘Cause that ain’t how we was originally put here to do. Like I said, I ain’t got no problem with the gays."

[via Vanity Fair]

This is so contradictory I don't even know where to begin. I thought all that "NO HOMO" BS died out by now ::sigh::

Vive la variété I say, especially when it comes to lifestyle. I think it's good for kids to see people living differently than they are. Hopefully they'll realize a world that exists outside of their own family and circle of friends and that there's more than one way to live out their lives.

I'm sure Warren G wouldn't hesitate to let his son (if he has one) watch Megan Fox and that blonde chick from Mean Girls makeout in that sh*tty vampire movie

9/20/09

Declare War on a B*tch Day/Week/Month/Year

I am so tired of people and their BS. This was my Facebook status from earlier last week:

"I have been WAY too nice to people, but tomorrow is a new day! I will be destroying everybody! So if you're in [DC!], stay outta my way." - Kid Fury

That was totally inspired by Kid Fury's Twitter (for my non-Twittering folks, you read from the bottom up):

Last week a couple fools were really pushing to get on my reserve nerve (c) Mo, but NAH-UH, Lisa Bee ain't having that. I'm a nice person generally, but I am NOT afraid to stand up and defend mines. Try to play a sista and see if you don't get shanked (EDIT: figuratively! Peace & Love, y'all

)... or carried the hell out of. PLEASE.

Anyways, big ups to Kid Fury for making "Declare War on a B*tch Day" at least somewhat official. Homeboy is so quotable *love*

Drop kick a fool for your RESPECT!

9/13/09

Kanye's VMA Meltdown (classic)

I don't really watch awards shows like that, and the only reason I tuned into this one was to see how "Bad" the MJ tribute would be. But this really needs to be addressed:

Looks like SOMEBODY was sippin' that Henny a lil' too hard. LOL.

You're supposed to pre-game BEFORE the red carpet, duh

I thought fa sho Beyonce was gonna get it though. Single Ladies is my jam.

9/10/09

Parents, hug your children. Also, don't teach them how to freak dance

“Just pretend you’re f*cking”, the mother told her children during their weekly reggaeton dancing lesson. - molls

WOW. Ridic.

5/28/09

STFU: Hipsters

“Is this a drug-sniffing dog or a mistakes-sniffing dog? Because, either way, he’s right.”

Ha. Me & my friend Jenn were just talking about how much we hate hipsters, with their sideswept bangs, nuthugger pants, beat up Vans shoes and Keds (ugh), and holier-than-thou pretentious-ass attitudes. GET OVER YOURSELVES, YOU SUCK. Go back to Iowa or whatever the f*ck surburban area in the Midwest you come from. Wait, I think I just shifted from my hatred of hipsters over into my hatred of yuppies. One & the same?

[via Look at this f*cking hipster]

5/9/09

STFU: Anchor Lady

My girl Kamilah put me on to this video the other day... I don't know whether to be offended or not? By the time a "slang word" makes it onto CNN, TRUST its run is over. Ol girl on the left should be ashamed of herself.

"SWAGG-A?! LMFAO"

What's so hilarious? I'm embarrassed for her [insert extreme side-eye]

I'm going to blame this on a slow news day and keep it movin, lol...

5/1/09

STFU: Solange Knowles

Artistry? I didn't know riding your sister's coattails was considered "art."

Sitcho Orlando Jones-lookin a$$ down, girl.

[via solangeknowles' Twitter]

4/11/09

STFU: Juelz Santana

“Anybody that has time to sit and type at they computer might be gay to me."

When I first heard that statement I LOL'd uncontrollably, but really, using "gay" as a synonym for "lame" is mad immature. You'd think that someone who's so decent lyrically when he raps would be a leetle more eloquent/careful in interviews. He knows these things get around, damn! Anyways, Juelz Santana, STFU and sit the eff down, bruh. (Preferably in front of a COMPUTER directed to dictionary.com, where hopefully you can learn some new words instead of calling everything that's wack "gay." THANKS.)

2/25/09

STFU: David Banner

Mr. Banner and friends (from his oh-so-explicit video "Play")

Rapper, actor and philanthropist David Banner told students gathered at South Carolina State University's Martin Luther King Jr. Auditorium that black people should not accept media portrayals of African-Americans.

In the midst of Black History Month, Banner, the graduate of two historically black colleges and universities, stunned an audience of more than 300 African-Americans with the accusation: "African-Americans don't love themselves."

"Black people have accepted what the media have portrayed them to be," Banner said. "We have to work to repaint the picture of black folks."

In a question-and-answer session, Banner challenged black women in attendance to explain why they perm and straighten their hair.

In response came the defense that "hair perming" is equated with being able to get a decent job as a professional and not being viewed as a threat by bosses who are usually of a different race.

"This is what I mean when I say black people don't love themselves," Banner said. "Perming your hair is a clear example of 'black-on-black crime' and media control. Black-on-black crime is not just a black person committing a violent act against another black person." (Source)

OK Mr. Banner, I see where you're comin from... but, um, really now. When's the last time you featured a non-permed, weaved or otherwise non-nappy headed black chick in one of your videos?

::Crickets::

EXACTLY. Kindly STFU and sit the eff down, sir.